Frozen Illusions and Warming Reality
by SerendipityDooDa
Summary: Tony has a reoccurring nightmare, and it starts up some trust problems...


It was cold.

Snow flew around as Tony's armor was shed from him, much to his displeasure. The crash itself was no picnic, but Tennessee in late December wasn't any better. Especially when you are used to Malibu weather.

Tony trudged through the snow, dragging his currently out of order armor behind him. He hoped to find somewhere to shack up soon to get out of this wintery mess, but all that was around were trees. Loads and loads of trees. Tony kept walking along the side of a road he had crashed nearby, but stopped as he saw something that clearly wasn't a tree. It was a person, and not just any person.

"Steve?"

He dropped the rope tied to his suit, speed-walking towards the figure. The closer he got, the more sure he was that it was Steve.

"Hey Cap!" he shivered out. "What are you doing out here in Tennessee?".

Steve turned and looked back at Tony, a dark scowl on his face.

"I could be asking you the same, Stark.".

Tony shivered again and gestured back to his scrap metal that he called a suit laying behind him.

"Yeah, well y'know. Car troubles.".

He looked back at Steve. The captain had a deep look of disgust on his face as he glared at Tony. Something was up. Steve never glared at any of his teammates like that. Well, he did when he first met Tony, but he didn't do it anymore. They had come to a mutual friendship. So this was abnormal.

"Whoa, Steve. What's the matter? What's the deal?"

"You are." Steve said hatefully. "Talking to me as if we're equals."

Tony looked taken aback.

"What the hell are you talking about, Rogers?".

"I'm talking about how you think of yourself as a hero. You are nowhere close to being a hero, especially without that suit."

Steve's face grew more angered and intimidating.

"All of the things you told me about Howard, everything he said about you? They are all true. Without that suit, you are nothing but a useless disappointment, a pitiful man who places himself alongside _real_ heroes.".

Tony's breathing became more rapid. _Why was Steve saying any of this? What had I done to make this come out of Steve's mouth, of all people?!_

Steve started walking towards Tony, reaching towards him. Steve grabbed onto the ARC Reactor in Tony's chest. Tony tried to fight back and keep Steve away from it, but he couldn't move. He was cold, frozen in place.

Steve twisted the reactor and pulled it out of Tony's chest, far enough that it was only attached by its wire. Tony just stared back at Steve's grim expression, watching as the blonde held his lifeline is his hands.

"You are absolutely pathetic." Steve growled out.

"The only reason you are still alive is because of this fragile, little light."

Steve yanked the light from the wire...

Tony's eyes shot open, his heart beating wildly and mind going a mile a minute. It was another panic attack. He started to clutch at his chest, no ARC reactor to be found. He started to hyperventilate, unaware of his surroundings.

"Tony!"

He heard a voice call to him, but couldn't think of who it belonged to at the moment. It continued to call to him, and arms wrapped around him in a way to try and calm him.

"Tony! You have to calm down. Its okay."

Everything in his body slowly started to return to their normal rates. Tony's sense started to clear up and he could recognize his surroundings. He was in his bedroom, not snow. And Steve was holding him.

Steve.

Tony pushed away, leaving the arms of a confused super soldier.

"How did you get into my room, Steve?".

Steve looked worried.

"JARVIS let me in. He called for me to help, said that your vitals were changing to the way they do when you have an attack.".

Tony sat on his bed, breathing heavily. He turned so he wasn't looking at Steve. After that nightmare, Steve was the last person he wanted to look at.

As if reading Tony's mind, Steve broke the momentary silence.

"What was it about?"

"What?"

"The Nightmare. It must have been pretty bad to make you have an attack like that.". Steve sounded genuinely worried about it.

Tony sighed deeply, still not turning Steve's direction.

"Look Cap, thanks for coming and helping and everything, but that's something I really do NOT want to talk about right now. I just... want to be left alone for a while, alright?".

Steve's face looked a little hurt for a moment, not that Tony could see it. He reached out to lightly pat the shaken man's shoulder. This caused Tony to twitch, as if reacting to someone trying to assault him. Steve slowly pulled his arm away from Tony's shoulder, his eyes filling with slight sadness. He started to leave and spoke softly before closing the door.

"Well, I hope that helps with whatever is bothering you. My door is always open... If you ever wanna talk...".

With that, Steve left. And Tony sat alone, thinking and telling himself its just a nightmare. Saying that like all nightmares, they eventually go away.

They didn't leave him. The nightmares only got worse. It was the same one, reoccurring every other night and increasing in sense of terror. Every time he awoke from the nightmare he would have a slight panic attack, and every time the real Steve would come in to comfort him. After Tony would settle down, Steve would hesitantly leave him to his own devices, just like Tony had asked. Tony thought that would help, but it only made things worse on him.

One night when Tony had the nightmare, it continued after its usual ending. This time when Steve yanks the ARC reactor out, Tony falls to the ground in the cold snow like a sack of potatoes. He cannot move, only feel himself go into cardiac arrest and look up into the frigid air. The last thing he sees is Steve looming above him, ARC reactor in hand. Steve crushes the device as if it was made of paper and drops it next to Tony in the snow, then turns and walks away with a wicked grin plastered to his face.

This time when he wakes, Tony doesn't jolt up. He lays on his back in bed, breathing heavily but responsive. He yells up at JARVIS to "not notify Captain Rogers". The AI complies and Tony gets up on his feet. He dashes out of his bedroom and down the connecting hallway, determined to stop these nightmares once and for all.

_**Knock Knock Knock!**_

"...mmnh...?"

Steve hazily rolled out of bed, off to give whoever was knocking on it a good what-for for waking him up around 3:00 AM. As he opened the door, Steve was surprised when he discovered this specific person at his door.

Tony was standing in Steve's doorway, looking a lot like a little kid asking to sleep with his parents after having a nightmare. Then it hit Steve. Nightmares. Right...

Tony was trying to hide the majority of his upset, but some of it still showed up on his face. He sighed before speaking in a low whisper.

"I'm ready to talk... If you are willing to listen...".

Steve replied with a gentle, half-asleep smile.

"I'm always willing to listen.".

The _To you_ was left in Steve's mind as he ushered Tony into the room and sat on the bed. Tony was silent for a while as they sat, and Steve noticed little by little that the man was slowly breaking as he tried to think of what to say.

Steve just wanted to hold the man, wanted to be able to keep him together and whole. He slowly reached out to wrap his arms around Tony, holding and comforting him as the dark haired man lightly shuddered in his hold.

"They were about you, y'know?" Tony spoke softly, his voice slightly cracking as he spoke. Steve's ears twitched as he listened to what Tony had to say.

"Its always in the snow. Absolutely freezing. During a memory when I still had the ARC reactor. I would find you in the middle of nowhere, but you were absolutely _disgusted_ with me.".

Steve's eyes got slightly wider as Tony told the tale, his facial expression turning apologetic. Tony began to quake more in his arms, but unwilling to cry in front of Steve.

"Then I wouldn't be able to move. I was frozen by the cold, and you would grab the reactor and yank it out of my chest. And then I would fall, unable to do anything but look up and see you crush the reactor as if it was nothing and walk away with such a shit-eating grin on your lips...".

Steve squeezed Tony tighter, in a hug of apology and reassurance. He spoke soft and gentle.

"Tony, that's terrible. I wish you would have told me sooner... I want you to know that I would never do such a thing like that to you. You know that, right?".

Tony nodded against the blonde.

"I know. I'm trying to trust you on that, I just... can't. I was starting to trust you as much as I had once trusted Obie, and that almost ended up with me dead...".

He felt lips lightly touch his forehead. Tony's eyes went a little wide at the the suddenly different contact. Steve held him tighter, resting his forehead against Tony's as he whispered warmly.

"Tony, you can trust that there is no way on God's green Earth that I would ever intentionally try to hurt you in any way. I care about you too damn much...".

Tony lightly blushed as he looked up at the super soldier, who was wearing a smile that just radiated warmth. Tony cuddled up more in towards Steve's chest, finally feeling a sense of safety and warmth around him. The two stayed like that in comfortable silence for a while. Tony had thought Steve might have fallen asleep, so he broke the silence.

"Hey, Steve?"

"...Yeah?"

"...Could I sleep in here tonight, y'think? I just don't really feel like walking back to my room at the moment..."

Steve smiled warmly once more and cuddled Tony closer.

"How could I say 'no'?".

That night, Tony slept with ease. No nightmares or panic attacks to wake him. There was only he and Steve, radiating a comforting warmth...


End file.
